“Its like someone answering ur phone and when you finally get to it.you have no idea what to say because its not ur call anymore”
Have you noticed how we’re all so fixiated on others lives that we never live our own?
Its like, from birth your mum decideds EVERYTHING right up until teens when our peers control our life, then of course adult hood where the media controls us and finally old age when health takes over.
Perhaps even writing this is controlling me, but mostly my emotions guide me. from Dark depression where all i can think of is, is life worth this? the pain i’m in? the bloodlust? the wanting of death? for this to be all over? and then theres the hyper sugar induced semi-comas where i can’t remember anything and everything seems a good idea,
Imagine being told your fat and ugly and worthless constantly but they never ACTUALLY say it. it gets engraved. i suppose this isn’t a way to take my anger out on the world but a way to take my anger out on me because i dont mind people living my life, because if they didnt my life…well it wouldnt be a life at all
What to do when you obviously are deeply depressed but you can’t do anything for the fear of telling people and letting them know that while you were smiling at them you were contemplating suicide.
